l.o.s.t

"You are a little disadvantage in Chinese" - A Teacher....

i lost...

i fail...

i am scared...

i am a little behind...

i can't shine...

i am not confident ..

i am quiet...

i can't teach...

i remembered those days during National Service that i sat quietly alone in a corner during Buddhism classes because i am scared.... that's the first time i am around many chinese, all the chinese in the camp gather to attend Buddhist class... I really had a hard time coping! I didn't actually cope... i just lock myself up... i am lost... not knowing how to blend in with their fluent chinese... i had only a few chinese friends there.... =(

i remembered those days when i printed chinese lyrics to help me improve my chinese... the first chinese song i knew was 'Tong Hua' by Michael Wong... Next i began to listen to more chinese songs.... Jay Chou, JJ Lin, Lee Hom, F4, SHE, Fahrenheit and so on....... i love chinese songs! but currently i am a KPOP fan! 

i remembered those times when my brother bought chinese-english dictionary... We had two of the same dictionaries.. he used one, i used one... we learn ourselves.... i search for words diligently... at once, dictionary is my best friends... i try to recognize chinese characters.... i can recognize some now!

i remembered once when i copied some chinese articles in the net and search for meanings to understand better... i am surprised now that i remembered these stuffs that i had done before just to be close to chinese, my mother tongue! sounds sad right... but i am happy i had done those stuffs... i am better now!

i remembered those days when i first studied in a chinese school during form 6, i was too quiet! the environment was totally different... esp when there are a lot of chinese boys around me... i can't look up straight... i am afraid... it is so unusual...co-ed school was so so different... i spoke english most of the time in class... i still can't communicate well during that time... 

i remembered the times when i first stepped into USM... i look proud...well, that's what i heard from my friends... yeah, probably not knowing chinese is the reason... friends need to blend in me... i am afraid to blend in them... i am glad they helped me a lot! thanks to my uni mates, i spoke the most chinese during my university times.... i even joined a chinese society! unbelievable right? haha~~~ i helped conduct activities in chinese... meeting in chinese.... everyone speaks chinese!!! 

i took up two levels of chinese language in USM to learn writing, reading and speaking... studying chinese only for few months in two semeseter, writing chinese is obviously the hardest! the words that i can write must be less than 20... haha~~~ i only remebered how to write for the exams in class... hehe~~~ anyway, to master a primary school chinese level, i guess i need twice the time those school kids mastered... haha... 

i can't do much to be good in chinese...

i am glad i can at least speak simple chinese...

i love to be able to know more of chinese...

i wish i am good in chinese...

i wish i can at least explain in chinese...

i really love to learn chinese...

i thank songs that taught me chinese...

I will try my best in the future undertakings!

chinese won't stop me in doing the things i like!!!
chinese will always be with me... =)

 화이팅

P/S: i learn chinese in kindergarten and std 3.. LOL...